Poster used from FapIt.net :: 12_year_olds.jpg
According to Women's Weekly, it is not that uncommon for 12 year old girls to be having sex. In the article, "Why Girls are Having Sex at 12." Jordan Baker talks about a number of things that are probably shocking for most parents to hear.
I have talked about sex education before - "Time for the Dreaded "Sex Talk" - a Parent's Survival Guide." and I certainly understand how this discussion is a difficult one. A parent has a couple of choices here - they can do their best to prevent/protect their child from contact with any of this or they can prepare their child as best they can. I know that some parents are adamant that the things we are dealing with today for our kids are much more serious and concerning than anything our own parents had to face but like it or not, you have to put some context into the issue.
I don't like it anymore than the next person. I wish the world was not the way it is BUT it is and my wishing is not going to change it or keep my kids safe. We have to assess the danger. We have to understand what our kids are up against and we have to be practical. There is a time and a place to try and change things. By all means - get involved and do everything you can to create laws for communities and society to protect children BUT do not delude yourself that you can neglect the immediate needs of your kids for "some day" when the world will be a kinder place. The world swallows up the innocent and ill prepared.
What hope did our parents have of stemming the tide of change that came with the freedoms of the Seventies? They could lock the doors, they could chaperone every action, they could take away the television and the magazines but that sentence, imposed on a child, is not a lifelong one. At 18 our children all walk free and then what? Over protection is sometimes the most unkind thing we can do.
Talk with your kids. You WILL be shocked. Consider the decline in one lifetime where an unplanned pregnancy could ruin families, to where it is common place and embraced now. We have gone from "sexual intercourse" to "making love" to "sleeping together" to "hooking up" to "having some fun." Sex is not a big deal for our kids. It is cheap and common place and mainly ... a bodily function. They experiment with partners and activities and yes, it is indeed porn fueled. You will not be able to stop your children from being exposed to all of this. THIS is the world they are inheriting. They are not you, they do not have your naivety towards these matters, they are better educated and more worldly, they do not have the frames of reference that you grew up with. You most likely heard many messages about sex and morals - religious or not - it impacted you. Kids today don't think it is "wrong" or "dirty" or "immoral." As the article states - oral sex is nothing - certainly not considered sex and therefore, even those kids who sign contracts to remain a virgin until married, will engage in oral sex and not see it as being any kind of disregard for the vow they have made.
Sex ... we like to think that being civilized has allowed us to control our appetites and that in doing so we exhibit some kind of superior quality as a human being. Yet, sex has been a big part of our lives throughout history, at times embraced and in the open and at others hidden behind closed doors. It has never gone away. Some of the biggest offenders of sexual perversions were the same peoples set up to be our moral guides - often living 2 lives that absolutely contradicted themselves. Today those that embrace their sexuality claim they are free ... as do those who deny themselves any participation.
Perhaps it really does come down to a choice that we all must make - whether we are sexually active or not - and what that activity involves. Crime only takes place when an act is forced upon another who does not, or cannot, consent. The real battle appears to be the guilt that accompanies sex. We feel guilty that we experience pleasure. It must be wrong. We should not be doing this. Perhaps the conversation is why we feel that to be a good human being ... we must NOT experience pleasure? And why, when we make that decision for ourselves, are we so threatened when other people do not make the same choice?
Sex is perhaps one of the biggest topics for my generation ( not the least of which is asking ourselves what our kids are doing) while for our kids .... it pretty much seems to be a non issue. The changing of the guard, as one generation surrenders this world to the next, is never easy. On one hand we want to share what we have learned and it can be difficult for our kids to accept that what we learned has value. On the other hand, we have to allow that perhaps we do not have all the answers and that there may indeed be a better way to do things .... a way that may scare the heck out of us and go against everything we hold dear.
Life is always interesting. Are you paying attention?