Thursday, 30 August 2012

PART 2 Bullying - Adult Style

bully free 2

I have to say something further regarding the whole Charlotte Dawson Social Media Bullying incident.  See my original blog here. 

The complete lack of common sense or any clear direction in this mess underscores our inability to apply common sense to our problems.

We have clearly identified bullying as a problem with our kids, especially online with social media.  The answer has been to try to address the issue mainly through education provided in the schools and to tell parents what to do if they think their kid is being bullied.

Here we have a clear indication that ADULTS conduct themselves in the exact same way which means that any education done within the schools that target kids as the ones needing help is going to fail because it will be undone in the ever present example of these kids parents and the other adults who see nothing wrong with conducting themselves as bullies.  Worse, adults claim they have the RIGHT to do what they want under the "freedom of speech " banner - which basically means they are not going to accept any responsibility for it.

In addition, as pertaining to this case I have heard "come on can't you take a joke," "Charlotte  deserves it because she has said unkind things in the past,"  "Tanya was reacting to something Charlotte said," and "people choose to be offended."  All further evidence that the perpetrators not only refuse to take responsibility, they want people to see THEM as the victims and blame Charlotte for this whole mess.

Even more disturbing is that they did not stop with the issue at hand, because THAT point was so important to them they needed to be heard, it became very personal.  Even when they had pushed Charlotte so far she ended up in the hospital - there was no compassion.  No shame.  No responsibility.


I have seen this mob mentality over and over again in forum after online forum, at sporting events, in discussions where people attack others without any regard for the damage.

Tanya Heti is a mentor at a university.  Her "friend" defended her on my original blog post insisting that anyone that knew her would know that she was joking.  She pleaded that we not punish her forever because of this as she is a good person.

I would like to point out that after she made the original statement and she was made aware that it was not being taken as a joke ... She made an even more damaging comment to a woman whose husband had committed suicide, suggesting she was to blame for it. 

Another student wrote in to say what a good mentor she was and yet 100 or more tweets from people some claiming to be students at the university hounded Charlotte mercilessly.  Clearly they were not being "mentored" in a direction becoming of any university.  And clearly while we were instructed to have compassion for Tanya, none was to be made available for Charlotte.

Now we have adults all hanging on to their own indignation and trying to tell the world about THEIR side, THEIR hurt, THEIR rights which all boils down to one thing.  NO-ONE WANTS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

THIS is why our children bully one another and until we are capable and willing to admit that we will solve nothing.

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