Wednesday, 12 December 2012

The Almost Could Be True Story About Holly and Hobbies.


Some people used to try to move out of the city to the country and set up little "hobby farms." This was really big in the 70's when everyone was trying to get back to our roots. I am not sure why but evidently there is not a whole lot of rooting going on in the city. (That last sentence is much funnier if you are Australian. If you don't understand it you should phone up the Australian Embassy in your country and ask if you can take the Ambassador to lunch and get him to explain it to you.)

Some of the people in the 70's went to communes to get back to nature. Other people went to hobby farms on account of they they did not have permission notes from their parents to allow them to burn their bras. Some people tried to do both. They lived duel lives and ended up on a different kind of "farm" because of it ... one where everything is funny.

But Hobby Farms were big. YesireeBob. I think they tried to raise "hobby horses" and have lots of little girls they liked to name "Holly." Everyone was saying things like "There goes Holly Hobby on her Hobby Horse. She lives on a Hobby Farm." And then some ladies started quilting her. It was all pretty genuine and innocent until some dude came up with "Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly ...." and then it got kind of messy.

Suddenly all these girls from the prairies were missing and there were not enough milk bottles to go around to find them and there was this big prairie war about whose daughters picture should go on the milk bottle and I think a whole bunch of cows got killed or something. (cows are always the innocent victims). They had to come up with a "Missing Person's Unit" because every Holly matters. That's when lots of "Hobby Farmer's" sold off their hobby horses and their hobby farms and went back to the city and went to work for McDonalds.

I think people were really over the whole roots thing.

Other people in the city went to work for Hallmark and made lots of calenders and greeting cards with sad faceless little Holly Hobby's on them ... because some people are just cruel like that and like to capitalize off the tragedy of some people's lives.
I bet you are waiting for some kind of big finish to this story aren't you? Well there isn't one ... this is just another sad sad story of the prairies and how they consume the lives of the people who try to live there.

You should just cry now.

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